Now Let’s Talk That Talk

Let’s be real for a minute.

Before we start talking about wanting a relationship, building something real, or asking the Creator to send us “the one,” we have to check ourselves.

What are you actually bringing into a relationship?

Are you bringing in past hurts and pain from previous relationships?

Are you carrying childhood trauma you never dealt with?

Daddy issues?

Your own insecurities?

Because whether we admit it or not, we don’t walk into relationships empty-handed. We bring everything with us—healed or not.

Relationships shape us. They mold us in ways we don’t always recognize. Sometimes it’s obvious. Sometimes it’s happening so fast we don’t even catch it.

You can call them soul ties. You can call them bonds. You can call them whatever you want.

The truth is, relationships leave fingerprints on who we become.

So, let me ask you something real.

Have you actually sat down and thought about what you want out of a relationship?

Not what sounds good.

Not the fantasy.

Not the social media version.

But what you need.

What kind of foundation you’re really trying to build.

And even more important—

Have you thought about what you bring to the table?

Because we’re quick to make a list about what someone else should be:

Loyal.

Honest.

Faithful.

Consistent.

Loving.

But we don’t like flipping that mirror around and asking,

Am I showing up like that too?

That’s where it gets shaky.

Relationships aren’t built on just receiving. They’re built on giving and receiving. And what you give is always connected to what you’re feeding yourself.

If you’re feeding yourself insecurity, negativity, bitterness, and unforgiveness, that’s exactly what’s going to show up in your relationships.

But if you’re feeding yourself self-love, discipline, healing, and growth, then you actually have something solid to pour into someone else.

Let me be clear about this part.

Peace comes from God.

Joy and happiness? That’s on you.

You are responsible for that.

No person can make you whole.

No relationship can complete you.

God completes you—people just complement you.

That’s why so many people keep running in circles. Chasing love. Chasing validation. Chasing completion. Trying to use relationships to fill empty places they refuse to deal with.

But a relationship can’t fix what you won’t face.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself—and for the person you’ll eventually love—is to step back.

Step back from dating.

Step back from situationships.

Step back from people who don’t pour into you.

Heal.

Grow.

Mature.

Learn who you are when you’re not performing for love.

Who you are when you’re not chasing validation.

Who you are when it’s just you and God.

Because here’s the raw truth.

If you don’t know yourself, you’ll settle for anybody.

And if you don’t love yourself, you’ll let anybody treat you any kind of way.

Then you’ll call it love, when really it’s just pain in disguise.

But when you do the work—

when you face your wounds,

when you stop bleeding on people who didn’t cut you,

when you heal the parts of you that used to react instead of respond—

You show up different.

You show up whole.

You show up with enough love inside you to give without going empty.

You show up ready to build, not just take.

So ask yourself:

• What do I really want in a relationship?
• What do I truly need?
• And what am I actually ready to give?

Because the best relationships aren’t about finding someone to complete you.

They’re about two whole people walking side by side, pouring into each other, growing together, and leaving each other better than they found one another.

And if you’re not there yet, that’s okay.

Just be honest about it.

Be brave enough to work on it.

Because when your time comes, you won’t be loving from a place of lack—

you’ll be loving from a place of abundance.