This blog has sparked a lot of conversation—and yes, even controversy. Many people have asked why I would allow him to use my platform to share his story, especially knowing that women were affected by it.
My answer is simple: trauma is trauma, and it doesn’t discriminate.
Although our platform is called Hear Her Voice, we remain unbiased and equally committed to addressing trauma in all its forms—because true healing must include everyone in our community, not just women.Â
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever done something and deeply regretted it?
Have you ever made a mistake and were truly sorry?
Do you believe in change?
Have you ever gone through the fire, got burned, but healed—and even though you healed, your body still carries the scars?
I’m not saying everyone can change, but I am saying change is possible.Â
Forgiveness is possible.Â
Redemption is possible.Â
Here is R.A.W. — a piece from Tyrone Munson.
Stripped as I lie bare the wounds of this RAW, and vulnerable state I am currently in. The veneer of my exterior has become weakened due to the relentless blows of bias, prejudice, preconceived notions, and individual’s unwillingness to acknowledge my humanity. The very same power, energy, and motivation that has been put into your own personal growth over the years has profoundly impacted my life as well. Causing me a significant amount of growth, self-reflection, restorative justice, and healing.
My name is Tyrone Munson, and I am a human being. I am 45 years old, and at the age of 17, I was sentenced to 290 years. This was my first offense, during the “Super Predator” law in 1997, there was a push to decimate young Black males. Juveniles were sentenced to a disproportionate amount of time in comparison to white adult males.
The RAW, or Real Affliction Within does not spare the readers emotions, it provokes them! I wish to invoke such a response that it causes you to heighten your awareness. I welcome your skepticism; I will sit with you in the crevasses of all the uncomfortable spaces. I have no problem standing in the face of whatever emotions you have towards me. Yet the only thing I will grapple with is, by the same grace and mercy you seek for yourself that I am not granted that same opportunity.
There is a quote that states: There are a great many people think that they are thinking, when they are only rearranging their prejudices. I urge you today, please consider (if you haven’t already) in becoming a thinker of impartiality.
In my experience, the RAW concept has immobilized as well as paralyzed so many.
It has no respecter of person, color, geographical area, or social status. It does not matter what type of job you have, friendship you have, or what relationship you are currently in. The Real Affliction Within defies education, it also undermines financial security. Oftentimes it deceives many into believing that money somehow loosens the suffocating boa constrictors death grip it has on us. The only recourse is to do what I and rare few men has done over the years. You must be open to the thought of going under the knife, wide awake! This process will cause pain, but the affliction of unforgiveness, self-hatred, shame, guilt, mommy issues, or daddy issues will continue to stall and stagnate your life by slowly eating away at your true essence and potential. This surgical state of mind requires a scalpel of truth. We must be willing to make incisions into the raw matter that subtly or overtly affect our decision making in unhealthy ways.
This is no easy feat, to share with you my real affliction within, to put my surgical state on display for everyone to scrutinize my ugly scar tissue is difficult. Yet I must, because I have been through the therapeutic process. I also believe that many could benefit from this. Through the restorative justice program, I have allowed psychologist, ministers, teachers, social workers, college students, doctors, lawyers, victims, and my peers, to operate on my psyche. Extracting every vicious lie that was spoken to me, causing me to hate myself because of my real affliction within. At the age of 17, I was sentenced to 290 years for sexual assault, robbery, and kidnapping. I know this causes many to recoil, striking the very nerve of those who were affected in this manner. Being the man that I am I get it! That is why I encourage you to continue reading on because I take full responsibility and accountability for my actions. I have
done all of the necessary work to not only ensure that this will never happen again. But also, to expose a topic rarely discussed especially in the Black community. I do hope that you muster the courage to stay engaged, again I accept whatever thoughts and feelings you may have. I acknowledge every emotion, and I absorb the brutal impact that your words may convey. As long as you develop an understanding of knowing, that I am no longer the same afflicted boy that inflicted my self-hatred on others. 27 years of my existence has been purposefully spent in service to others. I have been impactful, inspirational, and a consistent example of real change.
Still there remain my scars, wounds that came in the form of abuse from women. I was much younger when adult women would molest me. When the creaturely face of poverty begins to show up in the form of starvation. My father was also nonexistent, consequently the one thing I did inherit from him was his alcoholism. I do pay homage to my mother because she tried her best, until finally her afflictions pushed her into the arms of crack cocaine. At the age of nine, ten, and eleven, I hated the very skin that I was in. I also suffered various degrees of bullying the real affliction within coursed through my veins, damaging any possibility of me developing any self-worth. I was broken, abused, and exhausted. Eleven years old and I was already consuming hard liquor. I walked around with a massive bolder on my then frail shoulders, unable to communicate the real affliction within.
I wanted to tell someone, but I was too ashamed to admit that all of this was happening to me. It is amazing as I look back, I realized that even as a child I was expected to possess a cognizance. That at the impressionable stages of my life I was to somehow reason as an adult. You may be wondering, if all of this happened to you, why then did you force it upon others? For 28 years of my life I have explored the depths of this question. I have studied many books, read many bible passages, prayed and I went through intense trauma treatment. The answer may come as no shock to you, hurt people, hurt people! My afflictions of low self-esteem, no self-worth, or self-value severed any chances of me caring for myself, let alone anyone else.
There was no cultivation of self-love, no one in my lineage passed this down. Still why me? To have done this tragic and awful act to women still bothers me to this day. I have women in my life, Lord knows I’d be devastated if it happened to one of them. With that being said, I am forever indebted to women. I also have an obligation to children, as well as the little boy inside of me, to pour into them attributes that enhances their self- worth. I am not proud of what I have done as a child. I am however proud of the man I have become.
I could have hidden, I could have hidden behind the emotional instability of anger, never truly obtaining social skills or emotional maturity. I could have continued to drink and smoke my life down the toilet of despair that encompass prison. With 290 years I really didn’t t have to change but I did, because I know now that there is something greater than me to be done. As uncomfortable as it is, to have this label I don’t allow it to define me. I choose to utilize this tragedy to increase awareness.
The real affliction within permeates through the lives of too many people for me to be silent. God has opened my heart and mind by way of removing the prison out of me. Therefore, I could never go backwards and today I must share my story. For 28 years I have kept it together, I don’t smoke or drink, I haven’t shown any acts of violence during my incarceration. I am educated, I promote wellness in healthy living, and spiritual awareness. I have written apology letters to my victims and have worked with college students on victim impact letters. I am now considered a surrogate, whereas if victims want someone to talk to, I stand in the gap.
I have also had an assessment done by a well-respected psychologist that deems me low risk to ever reoffend. Keep in mind that individuals with sex offenses rate lowest for recidivism, especially for those who have committed their crimes as children. Despite the negative connotations that surround this sensitive topic guys like me can transform. Even when there were no incentives, even when societal demands seek to apply lingering punishment. Angrily picketing, unfortunately for
“just us,” (Black youth) when unjustly, white adult males receive lighter sentences.
I do not disagree that my horrendous behaviors warranted prison time. What I do hope is that at some point guys like myself be granted this rare opportunity of freedom. A freedom that is reflective in our everyday lives. A freedom that when given an opportunity will not be taken for granted. With great humility I must confess, no one who has crossed my path can say that I haven’t positively affected them in one way or another. Whether it was my joy, my smile, my playfulness, my faith, my wisdom, workout tips, encouragement, or my ability to just listen, I made a meaningful impact. I no longer allow the real affliction within to control me. I know I would be a vital asset to my community. I know there is a space for true transparency, and honesty. This is an issue that must be exposed for real healing to
commence.
Please don’t allow the RAW, or (real affliction within) to dictate your life any longer.
I am proof that childhood trauma does not have to define your adult life. That we are not defined by the worst of our mistakes.
Respectfully,
Tyrone Munson